I will no longer be partaking in my stage at Pain de Sucre since I feel that I was not getting anything out of it. I was expecting to learn more than just how to pack boxes and was hoping to be treated with more respect. Because I do not feel that I can continue working in such a miserable environment where I am not getting any positive learning experiences I am ending my stage.
While this may be a bit "bitchy" I felt that it was honest and to the point. Why sugar coat the truth? And why just duck out and not stand up for myself in the tiniest possible way? So while it may have been a completely cowardly way to quit a job the truth is that they terrified the crap out of me and it's the only way I felt comfortable leaving that life-sucking sugar cube.
I don't really know what I was expecting. I knew they would email back. I knew it wasn't going to be, "so sorry to hear that we're such assholes, we're working on that..." And so when I returned from a lovely day out in Paris to read this email the aftermath of its affect was not exactly was I was planning on.
Vous avez quittez l entreprise de manière totalement incorrecte ce qui ne nous étonne pas compte tenu de votre manque de motivation, votre incapacité d adaptation et de votre mauvaise volonté. Nous vous avons laisser votre chance, nous aurions du rompre le stage des les premiers jours! Vous n'avez pas les qualités nécessaires pour une une pâtissière professionnelle
You left the shop in a bad way which does not surprise us given your lack of motivation, your inability to adapt and your bad attitude. We are lucky you are leaving and should have broken your internship the first day! You do not have the necessary qualities it takes to be a professional pastry chef.
BAM! No holding back! At first the shock of their callous words was somewhat humorous. Are they kidding me? Lack of motivaiton? I did every job as quickly as possible and waited with baited breath for the next task. Inability to adapt? I tried my hardest to maneuver within that quagmire of a patisserie and feel that my french improved with leaps and bounds considering your lack of patience. Bad attitude? Now that pisses me off more than anything else. I peeled those clementines like a champ. I cut that damn pineapple with a smile. I boxed those macarons with a skip in my step. And saying they should've fired me on the first day?! What the hell is that? I knew these people were immature ass clowns but I wasn't certain of just how deluded and cruel they were until this email. I mean for heaven's sake, they cast me off as a failure who would never succeed in the business.
So while my first response to this horrific train wreck of an email was a chuckle and light hearted, "Oh my God!" the words did eventually erode at my positive attitude. How could they say this? Is this how they really felt? I went back and forth between self doubt and hoping that horrible horrible things would happen to them. How could these people be this cruel?
And here is the thing, I know that I was a terrible student in school. I know that I can be lazy at home and just lay in bed for an entire day eating chips and watching old reruns. I know that I can have a bad attitude when it comes to partying with friends or shopping or when people piss me off (which frankly, most people do). But when it comes to working for someone else I know that I am a fucking rockstar! I may not always be bursting with confidence but I come in on time every day, I do every job with a smile, and I try to do the best that I can. And if you aren't a complete soulless worker of iniquity than I will sacrifice holidays, birthdays, time with my friends, and a reasonable night's sleep to make you happy. But if you are a satanic jackass then I may just leave you hanging one day hoping that it pisses you off.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words just stun me for a while. I'm not a big enough person to let these things just slide off me. I'm not a big enough person to not want physical and debilitating retribution from these scabby tyrants. But at least after a few hours and a hot bath I will return to being happy, to believing in my future, in my abilities, and to laughing at how miserable these two scurvy, wayward, venomous canker-blossoms are. They have to fester in their hatred and bad attitudes every day while I get to skip along the Champs-Elysses and plan my own wonderful pastry shop that will be all whistling, rainbows, puppies, and happy times. By the time I awake tomorrow I will be back to my rational (well somewhat rational) refreshed self. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not them!